Managing Impostor Syndrome as a New Engineering Manager

Back in 1999, I was working at the small web studio of a Hungarian ISP. This was my first job, I applied for an HTML developer role, but eventually started to manage the biggest client we had to ensure proper attention and delivery. When my manager suddenly left, the department head asked me if I wanted to lead the team. I hesitantly said yes. I felt like I had already faked my role and used a combination of common sense, gut feeling, and the least resistance in my decisions. Surely, anyone could do that… But if I refuse this opportunity, they might also uncover the phony I am in my current role! So I took it — and continued to battle with the fear of somebody founding out I have no idea what I’m doing.

Impostor syndrome - that persistent feeling that you're a fraud about to be discovered - hits particularly hard when stepping into engineering management. It's not just about doubting your abilities anymore; suddenly you're responsible for other people's careers too while trying to figure out your new role.

Looking back, I might have been a bit harsh on myself. I made mistakes but had a good share of success too, and learned a lot from both. But I was going through this period with fear, and anxiety and stress. So, building on this experience and the many more I had during the years, I wanted to look at what triggers these feelings in new Engineering Managers, and more importantly, how to work with them rather than against them.

Common Triggers

One of the obvious triggers of Impostor Syndrome is leading engineers who are deeper technical experts than you. Maybe they've been at the company longer, or they're specialists in areas you've barely touched. Every technical discussion becomes a potential exposed weakness.

The shift from peer to manager brings its own anxieties. Yesterday, you were fixing bugs together, today, you're discussing their career goals. The familiar ground of coding is replaced by the murky waters of people management, where the stakes are higher and success is harder and longer to measure.

Cross-functional work introduces another layer of uncertainty. You're suddenly expected to represent the engineering scope of your team to Stakeholders demanding results, Product Managers who speak a different language of OKRs and KPIs, or to Design Leads who see the world through user journeys and personas. More importantly, you now own decisions. It's no longer about ranting "We should clean tech debt instead of feature development this sprint!" - you're the one who has to make these calls and stand behind them.

But there are subtler triggers too. Just the idea of presenting the results of your team to the company makes you break sweat. Your first performance review as a manager approaches and you have no idea if you're doing well. A stakeholder asks about the team's performance and you wonder if you should have implemented more metrics by now.

And then there's the loneliness. You can't just casually share your doubts with the team anymore - you're their manager now. Your former peers are discussing technical challenges over lunch while you're reviewing performance goals. Even worse: everyone seems to know exactly what they're doing, while you're desperately figuring out this whole management thing.

The common thread? Uncertainty and lack of self-confidence. As an engineer, you had clear signals of success: features shipped, code reviews approved, tests passed. Or, one of those tests failed, and you immediately knew you need to change something. As a manager, the feedback loop stretches from minutes to months. Did that process change actually help? Was that hiring decision right? You might not know for a long time.

Understanding these common triggers can help recognize a pattern: these feelings aren't unique to you. Most new Engineering Managers going through similar situations experience the same anxieties. Understanding them as Impostor Syndrome rather than personal inadequacy is the first step to handling them better.

Making Self-doubt Work for You

Here's an idea: what if Impostor Syndrome isn't always bad? That nagging feeling that you might miss something to be successful can actually make you a better manager - if you learn to use it right.

When self-doubt pops its head up, treat it as a signal to gather more context. Feeling uncertain about a technical decision? Instead of make-believe confidence, or spending a day digging through the code yourself, use it as a trigger to ask more questions. "What are the tradeoffs here?" often works better than "Here's what we should do."

It’s important to distinguish between productive self-doubt and decision paralysis. If you're questioning whether you've considered all angles before a major architectural change, that's healthy. If you're lying awake at night wondering if you deserve your role at all, that's not helping anyone. Are your decisions motivated by gathering more context or by hiding perceived incompetence? The latter is a clear sign you need to step back and reframe.

Instead of stressing about outcomes, put yourself in a learning mindset. Since you’re new in this role, the more you can learn, the better job you’ll do in the long term. Focus on becoming a better Engineering Manager tomorrow instead of stressing about what people think about you today if you make a mistake.

Also, think of this as an experiment - there's value regardless of the outcome. Success proves you can handle management; perceived failure helps you understand yourself better. Maybe you are indeed better off continuing on a technical track, and this experience made you confident in your decision to focus your career on developing in that direction.

But for now, remember that your managers trusted you with this role for a reason. They saw potential in you beyond your technical skills and were willing to make a bet that you'll do a good enough job. Extend that trust to yourself.

Building Your Support System

You don't have to go through this out alone.

Start with your manager - they've likely been through this themselves. Be explicit about your uncertainties and ask for clear goals. “What areas are burning today that need immediate attention?” “What does success look like in the first 3 months?“

Find peer Engineering Managers, especially ones who recently made the transition themselves. They're perfect for questions you might not feel comfortable asking from your manager. Like "How do you ask honest feedback from your boss?", or "How do you balance coding with managerial tasks?". Seeing the challenges of other new EMs can also give you useful perspective, and brainstorming solutions together is a great motivator.

The Product Manager on your team can be a crucial ally. Set clear expectations about how you'll work together. Remember that you share responsibility for the team's success, so your PM partner is incentivized to make sure you’re going to do a good job.

Don't forget your HR or People Partner. They've seen many engineers transition to management and can offer valuable perspectives and resources.

Look outside the company too. Engineering leadership communities, whether online Slack workspaces or local meetup groups, are full of people who've been through this. Take the learning part seriously: Books, podcasts, newsletters and blogs like mine exist because so many of us have faced similar challenges and wished someone would’ve helped them. Use these resources.

Finally, be transparent with your team. You don't need to share every doubt, but acknowledging that you're learning builds trust. "I'm not sure about this approach, what do you think?" is stronger than faked confidence.

The Road Ahead

Bad news: impostor syndrome never completely goes away. And that's actually the good news too: it shows up whenever we stretch beyond our comfort zone. The goal is not to eliminate the feeling but to recognize it as a sign that we're in an ideal situation to learn and grow.

What You Can Do Today

• Notice the triggers: Learn to recognize when the feeling of Impostor Syndrome starts to affect your work.
• Reframe self-doubt: Turn "Am I good enough?" into "What can I learn here?".
• Build connections: Find peer EMs, connect with your PM, schedule coffee with other managers.
• Track small wins: Create your own feedback loop, document personal- and team achievements, all the experiments you're making, so you can sharpen your decision-making skills.
• Balance transparency: Share your learning context to gain trust and support, while maintaining a leadership presence.
• Focus on growth: Treat both successes and setbacks as valuable learning experiences.

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